Tuesday, June 12, 2012


A few days ago, as I was updating you on my rendezvous with Tim and Kenny (yes, we are on a first name basis now) I mentioned that I was late to meet Country Man and Friend down at the lake for some fishing. Now, Caleb (who is Country Man for you newbies or slowies) has spent a bit of time making a little paddle boat he got for free (I suspect free = side of the road for trash pickup) floatable. Considering there have been recent leech attacks at the little lake by his house, he better make sure that thing floats! And leeches do attack...just like spiders and snakes and ants and flies and butterflies and kittens.

I knew this boat was...errr, umm...special! But, I had no idea just how special it was indeed. After clamoring through the overgrown shrubbery in sandals, while freaking out about leeches and butterflies along the way, I spotted them! And this is what I saw...
Hulk Smash!
Note the lack of paddles or an oar, and the presence of...a shovel?!? Yes, they were shoveling and fishing their way to me! In that beauty of a boat! If you've never had a man shovel through swamp water to scoop you off the overgrown banks, then you are missing out my dear. I was starry-eyed and amazed and laughing and....I had to use the ladies room. I shouldn't have had so much iced tea & lemonade before I left!
Boys being boys suggested I pop a squat in the leech-zone. Umm...helllloooo?? would you risk a leech being anywhere around there?!? There were porta-potties up where we parked our cars, so I had Country Man test them out first. He came back with this!! OUUUUUCCCCHH!!!
oooh looks painful!

He came back from the porta-potties with this giant wasp sting on his back. I felt really bad for him and did girlfriend-duties by trying to be sympathetic, but I couldn't help from laughing. He said, 

"Well I'm sure glad those kids weren't up there anymore, that would have been a sight. I came bursting and stumbling out of the porta-potty door with my pants around my ankles, everything hanging out, yelping and swatting at my back."

Why oh why wasn't I there to witness this?!?

So, after much deliberation between squatting somewhere in here..... 
...amongst the leeches and hillbillies and butterflies, I opted for the porta-potty - but only after taking notes on the fact that the wasp was in the left one, NOT the right. It is only in dire circumstances like this when I really fine-tune those listening skills. But, was I still nervous? Of course! 
And did I forget which one the wasp was in? Of course! 
Wouldn't you, if you saw him standing in front of the door?
I chased the stork away and tenderly opened the door on the right side, leaving it open for about 3 minutes to let any wasps escape, while keeping my eyes peeled for other predators. That is probably the fastest I've ever been in and out of a bathroom. I ran back down to the boys and exclaimed that I saw a stork using the toilet, but did not get stung by a wasp! 
Country Man thinks my stork was a heron. Stork. Heron. Crane. Whats the difference? I just googled the difference...and I still don't understand. 
(nice flag hat there patriot)

And I digress, back to this beauty of a boat! 
oh oops, sorry...I got distracted, once again.

Seriously, now, lets be serious.
I want you to tell me how many country, hillbilly, hickish things you see in the picture below. Don't worry, I'll give you the answers, because I know there are some of you who might consider it "normal" and not in the slightest bit "country"
Im giving you time to assess the situation. 
Here is another angle for ya 

So what did you find. I'm hoping you found at least 5 "hickish" things in this picture. 
Here are the answers:
So there you have it.
And that wasn't even everything. You can see the really nice anchor in the previous picture, i.e: a piece of rope tied to a brick :)

But, Kristin and I braved those irky, muddy, stinky waters; grabbed the shovel and went to it. Its not so bad out there once you lower that brick, relish in the sunshine and cast a line.

So guess what! We had a great day! 
And I liked sitting in my Country Man's little boat. Think of it like a boutique hotel - trendy, tiny, and shabby-chic. 
haha! I'm sure he likes me describing his fishing boat as shabby-chic. 

My form is not amazing, to say the least. 
And no, I didn't even catch anything that day....
...but I bet he did. 
And no, I didn't take that picture, I looked it up online to practice my angling techniques. 
What do ya' know... I am Turning Country after all!!

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