Wednesday, May 23, 2012

YOU KNOW YOU FOUND A GOOD ONE WHEN....

just last night, the Country Man:

1. Drove in a downpour and lightning storm to come see me

2. did this with a bad tire that he literally just "fixed" (I hope fixed)

3. did this without a cell phone because his flew out of his pocket on a roller coaster at Six Flags
(was not his lucky weekend)

4. Brought over take-out buffalo chicken wings (ignoring my insistence that I want to lose 1 or 2 pounds)

5. Baked chocolate chip oatmeal cookies (again ignoring my insistence that I want to lose 1 or 2 pounds) - and yes, of course I ate one.

6. Patiently helped me figure out how to make these bracelets because I've been wanting to put new jewelry for sale in my mom's booth

7. Didn't discourage me when it took me over an hour to make 1/8th of a freaking bracelet!!!

8. Laughed when I said, "Those bracelet people seriously must not have a life!" - but didn't tell me that I subsequently also did not have a life for trying to replicate their "lifeless" craft.... and yes, that thought had crossed my mind. 

9. Cleaned the kitchen (my mom wants to adopt him I think)

and 

10. Told me I am beautiful (ignoring my insistence that I want to lose a pound or two)

Such an angel! 

See...literally an angel
you can't see his wings

an angel that tastes like beard hair.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I SAID Y'ALL!!!

I said y'all and didn't even realize it! And at a business meeting! That is NOT good. I was on the phone with a client of ours in California yesterday to follow up on a meeting we had here in Atlanta last week. I mentioned that I used to live in San Francisco and he asked how I was adapting to life in Georgia. I told him it was a lot of fun, but that I don't think I can consider myself a Southerner yet.

He said, "I think you can. You said y'all at the end of the meeting."

EEEK!! I did WHAT?!?!? Oh my....

I said, "No way, you are joking, I would never ever say that!"

He said, "Yes, after the meeting at the Marriott, when we were heading back to your office you looked at the group and said, "Do y'all need a ride back to the office?"

Embarrassing..... Can I still be in denial?

I guess now I have a unique and combined California Beach Town, Las Vegas Valley girl, Country Hick accent going on. I'm sure I sound pretty special. My Communication Studies Professors would be so proud right now at my linguistic adaptation and skills.

HOW MUCH YOU WANNA BET THEY SAY "Y'ALL"?
This picture cracks me up, I took it a few weeks ago in Alabama
MY MOM FORCES ME INTO AWKWARD POSES FOR "BLOG PICTURES". THIS WAS POST-MARGARITAS, OKAY, DON'T LAUGH

Thought I'd introduce you to Country Man aka Caleb (gasp...he has a name!) He is 98.9% to blame for all of this!

Monday, May 14, 2012

I'M TURNING INTO MY MOTHER!

Yesterday, as I spent the day with my Mom and celebrated the fact that she raised a perfect daughter, I realized....I am becoming almost exactly like my mother!
I'm not saying this is a bad thing...its just become increasingly noticeable as the years go on. But, again not a bad thing - considering she is the coolest, prettiest, funniest, most artistic, creative, beautiful, generous and sweet person I know - yup, I'm talking about you LaDonna. And for those of you who I know are now wondering, yes I am fully of Caucasian descent... except for the fact that my Dad was born in Argentina (to a family from Illinois) and claims that there is Latin blood running through his veins.
Dad - just because you listened to Ricky Martin back in 1999 and prefer chorizo over Jimmy Dean, doesn't make you ethnically diverse. I'm sorry. It makes me exotic though. "I have a mom by the name of LaDonna, a father from Argentina, I know how to say, "tu estas muy guapo and donde esta el bano", and look at these freckles on my skin and blue eyes...I know, I'm so exotic."

Wow, sidetracked....I apologize. Just one of the many ways I'm becoming almost exactly like Ladeezy - the inherent ADD.

Some other ways are:

1. I talk to our weenie dogs (don't you call dachshunds weenie dogs?) in an extremely abnormally- high shrill voice, laugh when they jump around and cock their heads at me, and then proceed to do it 85 more times
say what?

2. I yell at people sitting across the room from me when I can't hear them because I'm washing dishes and the water is on. I yell, as opposed to turning the water off, putting the dish down and acting civilized.

3. I cook and then ask everyone 85 times if it was delicious and if they are enjoying their meal and if they appreciate their meal and if they like their food and if the food is good and if they are so happy I cooked for them and if they love what they are tasting and if they want seconds.

4. I go to Michaels Craft Store (need I say more)

5. I justify spending lots of money on other people (food, drinks, gifts), but not $15 on a pair of earrings or a shirt for myself. (I guess I should be grateful for this lesson in selflessness....but I still want that shirt!)

6. I laugh at myself. all the time. even if all I did was stick a carrot stick up my nose when I thought people were watching, but they were really just looking at the clock and could care less if I had a carrot up my nose.
My mom is buff...and dressed weird and laughs at herself...bottom line, don't mess with her
7. She cares for people, and I mean genuinely cares about other's well-being even before her own. And I HOPE that I am like this, or at least learning to be like this from her.

8. I get very flustered and lost while driving

9. I take pictures of everything: the dogs, the food we are eating, the bug on the window, my brother while he is picking his wedgie, the couch, my friends when they aren't looking, a taco, a leaf, the floor, a rock, my nostrils, a flower, myself, a cloud, a picture.

10. I think a glass of Chardonnay any time of the day is OKAY

or a mothers day mimosa

CHEERS! LOVE YOU LADEEZY!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

22 DOLLARS AN HOUR FOR THE GYM



Working out doesn't have to be a chore. And sometimes going to the gym feels like just that....which is probably why out of the three months I've had a gym membership here I have gone....three times.

Embarrassing. 
$22 per elliptical sesh.
Maybe I should stick to what I'm good at.
I can think of at least 10 other active activities that I would rather do than an elliptical. 

For example
jumping on beds


hiking
snowboarding
climbing the grand canyon

dancing


swimming

trying not to drown


biking


wheelbarrowing

wake-boarding as a leprechaun

rock-climbing
skydiving
AND

playing

All of which involve a certain amount of exertion, caloric fuel and energy use. See, I know what I'm talking about ;)


I wonder if I can get my money back from the gym? 

STICK A BEER UP THE CHICKEN'S BUTT!?


Hailing from the West Coast I was sure that avocados, sprouts, hummus, whole wheat everything, turkey burgers, tofu everything, flat bread pizza that resembles a cracker, fancy cheeses, all things green, soy, almond, organic and non pasteurized were staples in the rest of the country's diet as well.

Wrong.

My Georgia friends were appalled that I had never:
1. Tried Chick fil A
2. Bought Bud Light
3. Bought white bread
4. Bought bologna
5. Bought American cheese
6. Eaten a biscuit for breakfast
7. Been to Waffle House
8. Fried my own chicken
9. Heard of QuickTrip
10. Caught or killed my own meal

That last one I'm still working on....I'll keep you posted.

But, in the spirit of being a Southern girl now, I will expand my recipage beyond soys, beans, leans and greens, and attempt to cook (err fry) up some good old fashioned Southern foods. Don't be surprised though when most of my recipes still allude to a beach-time era. I will never give up my West Coast list of staples. And you will learn to love them too :)

I took this photo at my friend's lake house (one of my first weekends in Georgia). I took it with a mixture of horror, delight, surprise, anxiety and curiosity.



Who knew a chicken with a beer can up his butt could arouse so many feelings at once?

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

THE COUNTRY THING I DID NOT

Over the weekend my country man and I ventured into the big city - yup, that would be HOTlanta for those of you who are new to my story. We had some very big-city-esque errands to run, including: a visit to pick up some miscellaneous items I left at the W Hotel Buckhead a few weeks ago and a Groupon to use on running gear at the New Balance store. A special thank you to Country Man for being ever so patient while we waited an hour in the hotel lobby for my “miscellaneous items” to be recovered and while I tried on 85 sports bras in the New Balance store with hopes that I could counteract the effects of gravity + running. After these tiring errands we were starving, and stumbled upon an outdoor patio with live music serving an exhaustive menu of burgers galore. Perfect.
Being the country man he is, the “Southern burger” complete with fried green tomatoes and a Yuengling draft beer was hastily ordered. Meanwhile Ms. Country Thang on the other end of the table (yes I would be referring to myself), ordered the “Earth burger” made from edamame beans complete with a carrot, radish and tomato salad; and a spicy bloody mary to boot.
Country man quickly deemed this as un-bloggworthy and decided I’d officially taken a step backwards in “turning country”. I, of course, took my step backwards to the next level and might as well have been drowning in the Pacific Ocean. Decked out in my Rainbow sandals, Anthropologie tank and Seven jeans, I announced how harmoniously balanced I felt with the earth and how I was like totally in sync with Mother Nature and the waves of life, dude, it was rad.
Amused, but probably turned off, Country Man took a big bite of the Earth burger and decided good old cow burger tasted a helluva lot better.
Sshhh…….but i agree. Sorry madre natura!

are burgers supposed to be green?
Which one would you order: Southern burger or Earth burger?

THE COUNTRY THING I DID

In the spirit of being a full-blown Southerner now, (and by full-blown I mean obtaining a Georgia ID, a Georgia license plate, a pair of cowgirl boots, a country man, downloading at least two Jason Aldean songs and catching my first bass); I will try to do at least “one country thing” per day (and/or week) to try and further mesh with my co-people.
So, The Country Thing I Did, dun dun dun… IS, Put FAR TOO MUCH butter on my toast. Oh the madness and suspense, I’m sure my audience is enraptured! What will I do next????


"I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!"
Ha, just hang tight my lovely west-coasters and city-dwellers, that is not all I have to offer down here. We are full of surprises here in the Dirty South.