COUNTRY MAN MOVED!

Country Man helps contribute to probably about 90% of my country-ness; just by being around him I'm automatically immersed in Southern activities. So, now that he has moved almost three hours away I'm going to have to rely on my own country instincts...this could get interesting.
Luckily I will be talking to him everyday and visiting as much as possible - so don't worry, lessons in Redneck will still be in abundance.

The day before he moved we spent some time together and I suggested that we go fishing. ME, I, suggested it! Aren't you proud? I figured it would be very fitting and also probably make him think I was the coolest girlfriend in the world for suggesting it. And I am of course! just kidding. Okay, occasionally maybe. So we strolled on down to the little pond by my house. 

I lie. 

We did not stroll.

We drove 400 feet and parked right in front of the no-parking at anytime sign.

Hey we followed the rules of resident + one guest. That's a start!

And at least we didn't park directly on the sidewalk. We are so well-behaved!

Onward to the pond!

It is a cute little pond, but I made the mistake of wearing flip flops. Very un-country of me. It had just rained and every step I took I sank into some kind of gushy muddy grassy buggy muck.

I think Country Man and I are past that phase where I pretend that I'm not grossed out by anything, can totally hang in any situation, love dirt and bugs, never complain and am pretty much an all-around badass. 

C'mon guys, you know what phase Im talking about! I'm not the only one who does it! 

Regardless, I can still grab a fishing pole, step in some dirt and throw back a beer...so its not all that bad to care about my pedicure once in awhile. Right? Justification always helps.

So, I carried on with my bright pink fishing pole and went to it.

This is where things start to get reallllly interesting! 

First I took pictures of us...

Then I drew a heart on Caleb's hand...

Then I took a picture of him walking...

Then I took a picture of a flower-plant-thing....

Then there were geese...

Okay I lied again. This was a different day, when I was on a run. I just didn't have an opportunity to show you my geese-friends yet. Now you see. Are you excited yet?

Then I took a picture of some nasty trash in the pond...

THEN...

we caught nothing....

Maybe I was too distracted by flowers and hearts and geese and unicorns.

Its okay though because it was about 90 degrees and 100% humidity, and I'm allowed to say that because I'm out of the "no complaining, hang with everything" phase :)

Don't you love it?!

XOXO

PS: yesterday Country Man told me he washed his hair with dish soap....

REDNECK LESSON #1: What the heck is jug fishin?

Kevin's midnight Facebook status says it all:

"Pullin an all-nighter out on the lake with Caleb, jug fishin, frog gigging, and plain ol' night fishin." 

That would be Caleb, as in Country Man Caleb. 

Wow...

But, hey its better than seeing a Facebook status that says, 

"Pulling an all-nighter out on the Strip, jug fishin, clubbing and plain old lap dances."

Those are Girlfriends-in-Vegas concerns. 

I don't even want to know what "jug fishing" on the Strip would entail!

Girlfriends-in-Georgia worry about whether their man will:

1. Get eaten by a lake creature or gator

2. Get torn up by mosquitos or get a fishing hook to the eye

3. Overdose on Mountain Dew

4.  Capsize his homemade boat

or 

5. Bring home dinner!

Haha, just kidding on that last one, we aren't cave people. But, they do have a growing collection of frog legs, bass and catfish in the freezer. That will be a blog-worthy event once they decide to fry it all up; I've never tried any of those things...the frog legs and ugly-faced catfish are especially eerie to me. But, apparently this year has been all about trying new things, so catfish face - here I come.

Girlfriends-in-Georgia also have to be really excited about receiving pictures like these at 4am...

Me: "Wow babe, good work! Way to go! Nice catch! Looking good in that headlamp"

"Good catch! Can't wait to sink my teeth into that lil' critter!"

"Don't worry sweetie, I won't judge a man by the size of his bass!
Or by the size of his truck."
Kevin must be trying to compensate for something...
Good work gentlemen!

And jug fishing...well, its just what it sounds like!
1. Tie the line, hook and bait to an old milk jug
 2. Toss the jug in the lake
3. Continue your usual rod and reel fishing or "frogging" or whatever the heck else you are doing
4. Get really excited when you see the jug start to bob under water
5. Chase said jug all over the lake
6. Yank that sucker up and pose with your prize, (you must be in a tank top or shirtless).
7. Text pictures of prize to all of your friends
8. Beat the catfish on the side of the head with a large stick to ensure its death (PETA hates you)
9. Skin it, clean it
10. Eat it
Yeehaw!
That was your Redneck Lesson #1
 You can learn more about catfishing at other credible sources such as:
www.learntocatchcatfish.com/

*Note: Just because they are listed on my blog does not mean I endorse them or the people on there in any way, shape or form.

Although, Karen, I may have found you a prospect! 

You said you wanted a country man and Southern gentleman!